oh hey rach...what's that?

what? *blink blink*

oh this!


this is just a small testament to the fact that my friends are the bee's knees.
the BEE'S FREAKING KNEES!!!

the bee's knees??

yeah i don't know what it means either but those bee's must have some fantastic knees

note: pedro has claimed the jellies for himself. who knew ducks like jelly beans?

i'm much more accustomed to this city than i ever imagined i would be
the day to day seems almost normal
has me feeling like i need to do something more
instead i resort to making the work of these hands pleasing
no matter the task

He gives and breathes
and i find myself humbled and incredibly thankful

David's words sum it all up so if you're interested in knowing what i'm feeling just read some psalms and you'll get a good idea.

this is good, my friends, so very good

Dum Dum

Orientation took place around 3 pm yesterday
i filled out my card and waited
chatted with some guys until my name was called
i sat down in front of the Sister and collected my thoughts
she asked where i worked before and what sort of work i did back home
then she asked if there was a particular place i'd like to work this time around
i, of course, answered Daya Dan and then said i was open to going elsewhere if need be
so she asked me about Dum Dum
it's a home that was only recently opened to female volunteers
she said most people have a really difficult first day/week
and that she'd honor a decision to go elsewhere
but that she really believed it would be a good fit
so i said i'd do it.

from the moment we arrived there this morning i was overwhelmed by how fitting it all was
overwhelmed by how well He knows me
and how He takes my passions and my dreams and meets them with His perfect will

He knows me
He know my name
and He keeps calling

day three

the wall outside shrashi center


i suppose that's a bit deceptive as i am first going to share with you an excerpt from my journal entry on (the last bit of) day two...
today was, fairly uneventful. i slept in, went to raj's cafe, checked email and facebook, visited sanjay's shop and then returned to my room at shrashi. then things got interesting. my roommate, who incidentally is the same person who told me about the guest house, arrived at some point and mentioned that she was going to the evening service at the ag church. she invited me to join her and so, though i was a bit hesitant at first, i did.
as we were getting ready to leave she asked if i had dinner plans. i had none so she asked if i would like to join her and a friend. i again said yes

i wasn't expecting much out of the service but left feeling so overwhelmed by our Father's goodness and love. and, to boot, the woman who founded, alongside her now deceased husband, the church was there and i got to meet her. She was super sweet. and old. and just plain lovely. From there we went to roommate's friend's guest house where i met 6 delightfully intelligent people, most of them PhD's. i learned so much and i think they enjoyed my youth. following a our meal, roommate and i decided to crash an Indian wedding we stumbled upon and OH MY GOODNESS these people know how to throw a party. colorful, loud, and a most beautiful bride. at one point my roommate mentioned how she could tell the bride and groom were really in love. it made me happy. so that was my sunday evening. unexpected, enlightening and really really fun. i'm looking forward to more days like this.


and now, if i haven't yet bored you to death or sleep, day three...i'll make it short.
roommate and i went out to breakfast at a south indian vegetarian cafe. i ended up throwing my resolution to drink only black coffee this year out and had some with milk and sugar. it's made in chai fashion. very sweet, very creamy. so delicious. our next stop was Oxford. if you've heard me talk about this place then i needn't say more. if not, you'll hear all about it someday.
orientation was today. i met some delightful people and...drum roll please...it ended with me being placed at Green Park. it is much like Daya Dan, only all girls ages 8 to 18, i think. this home was not open to volunteers until recently and they have a greater need for them at the moment so Sister Mercy Maria asked me to try it. i still have the option to switch to Daya Dan if i don't think it's where i should be. needless to say, i'm really excited!

on a random note, i don't remember ever seeing cats during my last visit. i saw about 5 of them today and night before last heard one meowing outside our window.

don't cuddle the cats. don't pet the dogs.

tarp dwellers

you fill our hearts with more than we can hold inside

i spent a week trying to shake the memory from my mind, and for a few days i succeeded in doing just that, but now it seems i'm stuck with it.
she was tiny and round. maybe four and half feet tall. the fat baby she was holding just made her seem smaller. she was smiling though, her cheeks raised as high as they would go. there was a sense of pride in her eyes. but something was missing. something didn't quite fit.
it wasn't the fact that we were on the street, a tarp set up as a sidewalk home in front of us, or that there was a new baby who was forced to call this home. something else.

she showed him off to us, her words were animated without being too loud and i couldn't understand. we all congratulated her, fawned over the new baby boy and told her he was perfect, then proceeded past the gate and onto the path that led us to Monica House. as we walked he started telling me about her, "you know she's got a couple more kids. she just keeps them while they're babies and then hands them off to Shishu. She's just using them." his face was shadowed with disdain, a look i'd never seen from him. i wanted to yell out "i told you so!" to the part of me that had denied the uneasy feelings. but my heart was breaking.

humanity was failing me, again, miserably.

there's a part of me that still cannot make sense of it. we use each other as a means to an end. all of us. we've failed to see our fellow human beings as being just that, fully human. we place a price tag on humanity and value all the wrong things. if Jesus said the kingdom belongs to those we value least then we are fools to believe we can take it with our secrets and keys and steps.

Hebrews says that " we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken"

i cried the day i let the old man pull me in his cart. his thin legs looked so fragile, like they could break at the next push of the bike pedals. the others laughed, my heart broke for them too. it's all they've known. and i cannot say my tears were shed out of love more than pity (i can't know for sure), so i resign.

but it seems Jesus was about handing over the kingdom to the most used rather than selling it to the ones who denied any wrong in their misuse of their fellow man.
so that's what i want to be a part of, investing in the seemingly bankrupt.
and letting the seemingly bankrupt in me be made rich with his love.