the women at dum dum have given me more than i could possibly hope to give back
in fact i feel out right selfish when i think about this whole situation
life with them is difficult at times
moments when i don't understand what they need
when i can't figure out how to make them understand me
when i find my skills and knowledge are inadequate
when i can't make the pain or the bad memories go away
but as difficult as it is for me to see them go through it
i imagine its far more difficult to live through it.
Still, it's quite easy to forget that their disabilities and trauma. it's easy to forget that Jhancy needs a walker or that Rani can't speak. I forget that Pinky doesn't dance on her feet. they are all so full of life, of joy and they teach me to live abundanlty. and that's what i'll take with me.
well, that and...
the way Nadira squirms with delight when she see's her aunties - the way Radha takes a good look at me before cracking a smile and saying "good morning"- the way Rina smiles and sticks her toungue out when i draw on her hands - the way Asha dances - the way Baishali sniffs at my hair - Asha Priya's smile - Gita's songs - Beshara's sneaky biscuit thievery - Suporna's hugs
i have life and breath, i have abundance and i see it now.
i am the richest
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
making good on my promise
these men, this scaffolding
all rest on this
i just want to climb up and take a good look at the city
instead, this is where i go
meet the lovely lassi ladies, Patricia and Laura
the last week was spent in the company of some truly wonderful women. a few from the US, the others from every where else in the world. ha. really though, i am abundantly blessed by the wisdom and strength these women possess. this is what i get for asking for kindred spirits.
He loves me
all rest on this
i just want to climb up and take a good look at the city
instead, this is where i go
meet the lovely lassi ladies, Patricia and Laura
the last week was spent in the company of some truly wonderful women. a few from the US, the others from every where else in the world. ha. really though, i am abundantly blessed by the wisdom and strength these women possess. this is what i get for asking for kindred spirits.
He loves me
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Dum Dum
Orientation took place around 3 pm yesterday
i filled out my card and waited
chatted with some guys until my name was called
i sat down in front of the Sister and collected my thoughts
she asked where i worked before and what sort of work i did back home
then she asked if there was a particular place i'd like to work this time around
i, of course, answered Daya Dan and then said i was open to going elsewhere if need be
so she asked me about Dum Dum
it's a home that was only recently opened to female volunteers
she said most people have a really difficult first day/week
and that she'd honor a decision to go elsewhere
but that she really believed it would be a good fit
so i said i'd do it.
from the moment we arrived there this morning i was overwhelmed by how fitting it all was
overwhelmed by how well He knows me
and how He takes my passions and my dreams and meets them with His perfect will
He knows me
He know my name
and He keeps calling
i filled out my card and waited
chatted with some guys until my name was called
i sat down in front of the Sister and collected my thoughts
she asked where i worked before and what sort of work i did back home
then she asked if there was a particular place i'd like to work this time around
i, of course, answered Daya Dan and then said i was open to going elsewhere if need be
so she asked me about Dum Dum
it's a home that was only recently opened to female volunteers
she said most people have a really difficult first day/week
and that she'd honor a decision to go elsewhere
but that she really believed it would be a good fit
so i said i'd do it.
from the moment we arrived there this morning i was overwhelmed by how fitting it all was
overwhelmed by how well He knows me
and how He takes my passions and my dreams and meets them with His perfect will
He knows me
He know my name
and He keeps calling
Monday, February 22, 2010
tarp dwellers
you fill our hearts with more than we can hold inside
i spent a week trying to shake the memory from my mind, and for a few days i succeeded in doing just that, but now it seems i'm stuck with it.
she was tiny and round. maybe four and half feet tall. the fat baby she was holding just made her seem smaller. she was smiling though, her cheeks raised as high as they would go. there was a sense of pride in her eyes. but something was missing. something didn't quite fit.
it wasn't the fact that we were on the street, a tarp set up as a sidewalk home in front of us, or that there was a new baby who was forced to call this home. something else.
she showed him off to us, her words were animated without being too loud and i couldn't understand. we all congratulated her, fawned over the new baby boy and told her he was perfect, then proceeded past the gate and onto the path that led us to Monica House. as we walked he started telling me about her, "you know she's got a couple more kids. she just keeps them while they're babies and then hands them off to Shishu. She's just using them." his face was shadowed with disdain, a look i'd never seen from him. i wanted to yell out "i told you so!" to the part of me that had denied the uneasy feelings. but my heart was breaking.
humanity was failing me, again, miserably.
there's a part of me that still cannot make sense of it. we use each other as a means to an end. all of us. we've failed to see our fellow human beings as being just that, fully human. we place a price tag on humanity and value all the wrong things. if Jesus said the kingdom belongs to those we value least then we are fools to believe we can take it with our secrets and keys and steps.
Hebrews says that " we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken"
i cried the day i let the old man pull me in his cart. his thin legs looked so fragile, like they could break at the next push of the bike pedals. the others laughed, my heart broke for them too. it's all they've known. and i cannot say my tears were shed out of love more than pity (i can't know for sure), so i resign.
but it seems Jesus was about handing over the kingdom to the most used rather than selling it to the ones who denied any wrong in their misuse of their fellow man.
so that's what i want to be a part of, investing in the seemingly bankrupt.
and letting the seemingly bankrupt in me be made rich with his love.
i spent a week trying to shake the memory from my mind, and for a few days i succeeded in doing just that, but now it seems i'm stuck with it.
she was tiny and round. maybe four and half feet tall. the fat baby she was holding just made her seem smaller. she was smiling though, her cheeks raised as high as they would go. there was a sense of pride in her eyes. but something was missing. something didn't quite fit.
it wasn't the fact that we were on the street, a tarp set up as a sidewalk home in front of us, or that there was a new baby who was forced to call this home. something else.
she showed him off to us, her words were animated without being too loud and i couldn't understand. we all congratulated her, fawned over the new baby boy and told her he was perfect, then proceeded past the gate and onto the path that led us to Monica House. as we walked he started telling me about her, "you know she's got a couple more kids. she just keeps them while they're babies and then hands them off to Shishu. She's just using them." his face was shadowed with disdain, a look i'd never seen from him. i wanted to yell out "i told you so!" to the part of me that had denied the uneasy feelings. but my heart was breaking.
humanity was failing me, again, miserably.
there's a part of me that still cannot make sense of it. we use each other as a means to an end. all of us. we've failed to see our fellow human beings as being just that, fully human. we place a price tag on humanity and value all the wrong things. if Jesus said the kingdom belongs to those we value least then we are fools to believe we can take it with our secrets and keys and steps.
Hebrews says that " we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken"
i cried the day i let the old man pull me in his cart. his thin legs looked so fragile, like they could break at the next push of the bike pedals. the others laughed, my heart broke for them too. it's all they've known. and i cannot say my tears were shed out of love more than pity (i can't know for sure), so i resign.
but it seems Jesus was about handing over the kingdom to the most used rather than selling it to the ones who denied any wrong in their misuse of their fellow man.
so that's what i want to be a part of, investing in the seemingly bankrupt.
and letting the seemingly bankrupt in me be made rich with his love.
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