ahem. this is not what i expected when i said i wanted to stater pain and brokeness in the face. but its what i got. this being a slight miscomunication between a certain fellow and i. hmmm. its quite annoying to have an enemy who knows your weak spots. who has seen the look of fear on your face and knows just how to evoke it again and again. i hate feeling used. i hate the dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach when i feel trapped. i hate not knowing how to say no. and i'm tired. i'm tired of being the nice girl who complies. tired of having to explain my brokeness. tired of having to face the effects of others brokeness.

i'm just tired
& as much as i'd like to run away
i know i'll be ok
because He is for me and He loves me

For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. - Philippians 1:19-20